I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
