Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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