The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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