dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
