it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
