We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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