So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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