Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
