your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
