I need help removing her.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
