I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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