The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
