I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize
