Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
