Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
