It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
