carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
