I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
