Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
