I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
