Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
