You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
