I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
