I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
