I'm drive I can fine osifer
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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