Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
