i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
