Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
