u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
