how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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