I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
