Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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