Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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