we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
