Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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