The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
