what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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