he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
