She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sorry about my life...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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