U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
