Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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