Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
