why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
