I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
