You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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