Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
