chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
