So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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