Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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