Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Randomize
